Why does your suitcase smell like fish?

I am not allowed to get sick this year. I have scheduled all my vacation days for the year and am left with one and a half days to be used for sick time, doggy emergencies, flooding basements, etc. All my doctor, dentist and beautician appointments will be scheduled for late afternoon or weekend.

The holidays will break up the tedium of working and waiting for vacation. We are currently in the middle of the longest Holiday dry spell of the year… MLKJ Day to Good Friday is a long ten weeks. After that the holidays average about one every 7 weeks or so. You can tell I've analyzed this way too much.

In May the husband and I will be spending five days in Las Vegas. We are sharing a suite at the Mirage with some friends who really know how to have a good time. I am predicting that my first day back to work after this trip will be rough but well worth it. Maybe I will hit the big jackpot out there and then I won't even have to come back.

In August we will be traveling to Germany and Norway for two weeks. Code name - Operation Fjord. I made a promise to my Mom as she went into surgery this past year that if she made it we would all go to Norway. You can’t break “Near Death Bed” promises, so off we go to what is one of the most expensive countries in Europe.

I got a really good deal on our tickets. To get this great price we will have a 10 hour layover in Iceland both there and back, but that’s worth $500 a person in my book. With the money I saved I may be able to purchase each of us a Norwegian sweater, if I shop carefully. I have been doing some souvenir research and those sweaters may as well be knitted with Jason's mythical golden fleece.

Other possible souvenirs include:

A troll. Norway is famous for its trolls.  Not sure why, but I hope to learn when I'm there.

Horned Viking helmets. I will probably mount one on the wall next to the sombrero we got in Cozumel and create a sort of "Hats of the World" display.  

Smoked Salmon - You can't bring meat back but you can bring back all the smoked fish you can carry. 

Funky brown Norwegian cheese - It's called Brunost and looks very unappetizing but is very affordable.  Cheese all around.




Finally I have to stop at the Oslo Hardrock Cafe to add to my shotglass collection.   At this point in the trip I will probably be ready for some good old American, artery clogging, fried food so I will be able to kill two birds with one stone.

So I will be taking all the necessary precautions.  I will drink lots of OJ and carry hand sanitizer with me wherever I go.  I will also be leaving any room occupied by anybody with an obvious contagious ailment.  Nothing personal.