The day I took up the violin was the day I had to finally admit I was truly a geek. Oh, I had sort of known before that but the violin pretty much sealed the deal. The only reason I chose the violin over the flute was because strings started in fifth grade and band in sixth. Patience is not one of my strong suits.
Carrying a violin case in my neighborhood, in front of my "friends" was like painting a big red target on my back. Add in all the books I was always reading, the dorky clothes my mother made me wear and I was doomed. I'll never forget the laughter and the ridicule. Pure humiliation. Stupid, stupid...... what was I thinking.
It took me two years to ditch that violin. My parents had spent so much money on it I had to commit to it for at least a little while. But I wasn't going to carry that damn thing into Jr. High. At the end of sixth grade I made up some lame excuse and told Mr. Osborne, my violin teacher I wouldn't be continuing. I'll never forget the sad look on his face. Oh, to relive that day.
I spent the next nine years trying to be a hard-ass, a tough girl, a burnout. That's how you fit in where I came from. I didn't do a very convincing job. People who knew me really well weren't convinced. Neither was I. And you know what? I wasn't happy either. It's very stressful to try and be somebody your'e not.
I wish I could go back in time and give the 12 year old me some advice. Who gives a flying f**k what anybody thinks? Conformity is easy, different is hard. Hard always pays more rewards than easy in the end. Fitting in? Don't waste your time. It doesn't get you anywhere. I tried hard to teach my kids that lesson. I think I did, didn't I?
Anybody know where I can get some violin lessons?
Great post and so darn true! I look bad and think of all the things I wish I'd done. I always fell in with the wrong crowd instead. Violin Hero! Very creative!
ReplyDeleteTerrific post, and what I am always trying to teach my two teens with some success I must say.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many stories have been inspired by the 'advising our young & very foolish selves'?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your violin story, but it worked out beautifully. HAD you stuck with the fiddle, you'd have no great advice to give.
I once played the piano rather well. It has been many years now since I played. Not sure I can any more. Since I have retired I have joined a singing group and learned to play in a bell choir. It is good to be able to once again work with my musical abilities, but I do wish I had kept up the piano.
ReplyDeletePat - Lessons learned I guess. And we wouldn't be who we are without all the experiences we've had.
ReplyDeleteFoxy - I think more of it sinks in than they let us know.
Booda - So true. I probably would have given it up for the flute eventually anyway.
Mom - My daughter plays the piano, my husband and son the guitar. I remember none of my violin skills. I love to listen to them though.
I felt the same way about hula lessons..but don't think it's part of my past I'd like to relive or continue.
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