Raw

Words come hard when  you lose someone you cared about.  But I feel like they need to be said, or written.  Scott was one of the most genuine people I have ever met and also one of the most intense.  He was like a roller coaster, thrilling and scary and raw.  He died this week after a year long battle with cancer.  Sad.  But as he wrote to me once, "So long as your memories of me live so do I."

Scott was a music lover.  He loved all types of music and felt it in his soul.  To this day I've never seen someone get lost in the music like he did. I'll never forget the day we were riding in the car and heard on the radio that John Lennon had been shot.   He was heartbroken.  He felt it.  Music would never be the same and he knew it.  He was depressed for weeks.  Genuinely depressed.  That's what I mean about real.

He was a writer too, though he came late to it.  When he wrote from the heart that raw intensity of his came through.  I was lucky enough to read his writing over the last few years.  He brought tears to my eyes sometimes.  "I wonder when I die will I become a dream?"

Scott's roller coaster ride was one I couldn't take with him.  He and I broke up thirty years ago.  We both knew it wasn't going to work.  That doesn't diminish what we shared.  It also doesn't make our lives after each other any less meaningful.  He had an impact on who I am today and I can't change that.  Wouldn't want to.  When I have to steel myself to say what needs to be said to someone, no matter how hard, it's Scott behind me. He never cared what anybody thought..... anybody.  When I hear certain songs I hear him singing them, even today.

I wish him well on the journey he travels today.  I'm sure he's telling somebody what's what with a spark in his eye and with a heartfelt passion that is so real it's a wonder to behold.