Determination

At Mom's memorial lunch my sister and I each chose two pictures that were special to us.  This is the first picture I shared and what I said about it.

I chose this picture because it reminds me how my mother’s determination and resolve has been an inspiration to me throughout my life.  This picture was taken in 1970, right after my mother returned from a long visit to Germany.    Before that trip she had reached a crossroad in her life.  She was restless and unhappy.  She loved her family and regretted none of her choices but she wanted something more than she had.  She wanted to go to college.  She wanted to be out in the world.  She wanted to shape her own destiny instead of being led by the circumstances in her life.  But there were obstacles.  Her own fear and self doubt.  Society’s expectation that being a housewife and mother should be enough for her.     Where would they get the money?  And the seemingly impossible logistics of going to school when she had two young children and a husband who traveled for work.   

I believe her trip to Germany was to take stock of where she came from before she stepped forward to create a new life.  I remember the adults in my life giving me vague answers about why my mother went away.   I remember how excited I was when I found out she was coming home.   This picture is the day she returned.  Even at my young age I realized when I saw her that there was something very different about her.  It wasn’t just her stylish new wardrobe and hairdo.  It was her resolve.  Here was a woman who had had taken charge and was going to get the things out of life that she wanted.  And she did.  She went to school, got a degree and then got a job.  She was outspoken and independent and she experienced life on her terms.  It was such an example to me throughout my life.  This was the moment my mother taught me the only thing that could stop me in life was myself.