Mar 14, 2011

Virtuoso Wannabe

The day I took up the violin was the day I had to finally admit I was truly a geek.  Oh, I had sort of known before that but the violin pretty much sealed the deal.  The only reason I chose the violin over the flute was because strings started in fifth grade and band in sixth.  Patience is not one of my strong suits.

Carrying a violin case in my neighborhood, in front of my "friends" was like painting a big red target on my back.  Add in all the books I was always reading, the dorky clothes my mother made me wear and I was doomed.  I'll never forget the laughter and the ridicule.  Pure humiliation. Stupid, stupid...... what was I thinking.

It took me two years to ditch that violin.  My parents had spent so much money on it I had to commit to it for at least a little while.  But I wasn't going to carry that damn thing into Jr. High.  At the end of sixth grade I made up some lame excuse and told Mr. Osborne, my violin teacher I wouldn't be continuing.  I'll never forget the sad look on his face.  Oh, to relive that day.

I spent the next nine years trying to be a hard-ass, a tough girl, a burnout.  That's how you fit in where I came from.  I didn't do a very convincing job.  People who knew me really well weren't convinced.  Neither was I.  And you know what?  I wasn't happy either.  It's very stressful to try and be somebody your'e not.

I wish I could go back in time and give the 12 year old me some advice.  Who gives a flying f**k what anybody thinks?  Conformity is easy, different is hard.  Hard always pays more rewards than easy in the end.  Fitting in?  Don't waste your time.  It doesn't get you anywhere.  I tried hard to teach my kids that lesson.  I think I did, didn't I?

Anybody know where I can get some violin lessons?


  1. Great post and so darn true! I look bad and think of all the things I wish I'd done. I always fell in with the wrong crowd instead. Violin Hero! Very creative!

  2. Terrific post, and what I am always trying to teach my two teens with some success I must say.

  3. I wonder how many stories have been inspired by the 'advising our young & very foolish selves'?

    I'm sorry about your violin story, but it worked out beautifully. HAD you stuck with the fiddle, you'd have no great advice to give.

  4. I once played the piano rather well. It has been many years now since I played. Not sure I can any more. Since I have retired I have joined a singing group and learned to play in a bell choir. It is good to be able to once again work with my musical abilities, but I do wish I had kept up the piano.

  5. Pat - Lessons learned I guess. And we wouldn't be who we are without all the experiences we've had.

    Foxy - I think more of it sinks in than they let us know.

    Booda - So true. I probably would have given it up for the flute eventually anyway.

    Mom - My daughter plays the piano, my husband and son the guitar. I remember none of my violin skills. I love to listen to them though.

  6. I felt the same way about hula lessons..but don't think it's part of my past I'd like to relive or continue.