Apr 13, 2011

Such is Life


For various reasons I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately.  I have felt anxiety, anger, grief, sorrow and helplessness.  Some of the things causing these feelings were within my control so I calmed myself, said what I had to say and did what I had to do.  Some of these things were due to my mistakes.  I seem to make a mess of things sometimes.  Even though I’m a mostly well intentioned person I can often be thoughtless and careless.  I apologized, tried to make things better and hopefully learned from my mistakes.

Some of the things going on are totally out of my control, troublesome situations, not serious, but still emotionally draining.   I can not change the circumstance.  All I can do is change my reaction to it.  Adjust, adapt and make the best of it if for me and the others in the same situation.  This particular situation has a time limit. There is an end, not in the immediate future but out there on the horizon.  This one is going to be sort of an endurance contest, a test of my ability to control my temper over and over again so I don’t make a life changing mistake.    

The worst thing going on right now affects me only indirectly.  It is directly affecting the people that I love most dearly in the world.  There is nothing I can do but offer my love and support and be there if I’m needed.  I have no answers to offer about why life is so unfair.  Hell, it’s got me wondering the same thing.  I have no way to make this better as much as I wish I could.  This is weighing heavy on my heart and mind.  I think about it constantly.   I am coping by trying to be thankful for every day, for my loved ones and to not take anything for granted.  


7 comments:

  1. Just being there to listen with a loving heart is not nothing. It is the best comfort there is when life is being so unfair.

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  2. I agree with what Mom said. And it seems that you're coping with the current circumstances in a very measured manner.
    Hope things get better.

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear that, Christine! I hope and prayer that things work out for your loved ones very soon.

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  4. I hope by now this has eased or will do so soon - take care okay

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  5. I wish you'd use that spectacular mind of yours to think just a weee bit differently.

    You wrote: This is weighing heavy on my heart and mind. I think about it constantly.

    Stop that.

    You wrote: I am coping by trying to be thankful for every day, for my loved ones and to not take anything for granted.

    Stop trying. Sink into it and feel and take it all on board and live in gratitude. It's gorgeous, it's refreshing and it allows you to think and feel more creatively so when you ARE needed, you're much more able to offer your very best self.

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  6. I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have met in this virtual world we call bloggerville. You all warm my heart and I feel fortunate to call you my friends.

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  7. I know I'm a bit behind (catching up here), but I'm sorry you are going through this (whatever it is) and I hope it passes soon.

    You write so darn well. The subject matter doesn't have an impact on that. I always enjoy your words. Hang in there and try to have a good weekend...

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