You ever have one of those moments when you stop and take stock of your life? Our break up was one of those moments for me. I took it as an opportunity to do a complete about face on a lot of things in my life. I started taking college more seriously. I stopped all drug use. I cut ties with anybody that I thought was headed for trouble in the future, which included nearly all my friends. I even stopped using the nickname Chris and asked people to start calling me by my full name as a reminder that I was a whole new person.
What did I do about the friend request? It seemed rude to ignore somebody you spent four years of your life with. He was my first love. He and I had some good times together. Bad times too, but I won't go into details. Plus, I was just plain curious about how he's been and what he's been up to all these years.
I accepted his friend request. We exchanged a few emails back and forth. He's doing fine. I'm doing fine. All very anticlimactic. The unexpected bonus is that it's made me see my husband for what he is. The man I chose to be with for the rest of my life. It was a good decision.
There are people who friended me that I went to high school with and I can't remember them. I'm talking about a class of maybe 48 people. If my first husband every contacts me I'm heading for the hills.
ReplyDeleteAlice - I've accepted friend requests from total strangers just because their name sounded vaguely familiar only to find out they are either trying to promote something or even worse, they want somebody new in their FB Mafia gang.
ReplyDeleteI like the moral of your story :) my husband and I have both received emails or have been contacted through networking sites by old flames. Mostly I think they're just fishing since they all seem to still be single or are recently divorced, so it is a bit flattering. But, like you, it makes us glad that we ended up with each other 'cause we're both done with drama!
ReplyDeleteMy curiosity would have made me accept his friend request. I learned quickly how to unfriend people that annoyed me. That boy was an important part of the journey that got you to where you are. Sounds like you are in a good place,
ReplyDeleteTwice I've connected with formers after many years of no contact.
ReplyDeleteMy experience was about a 4 on a scale of 1-10.
Glad yours turned out nicely for you. :)
Oh, this is THE best line of the day: All thanks to the World Wide WTF am I gonna do now?
ReplyDeleteYah, I get along well with all variety of exes, including husbands, but every once in awhile, one of them wants to indulge in some ridiculous fantasy/pretense. This is the opposite of any fun at all.
PS. I would like to vote for your actually post font to be in black because I struggle to read the gray. This is not the fault of my lazy ass, but of my lazy eyes. You are certainly welcome to ignore my vote. Everyone else does.
Isn't it amazing how Facebook has opened our world for us?--sometimes, I suppose, too much! *smiles* But I'm glad you friended him--at least it gave you the sense of satisfaction in knowing that you totally made the right choice in marrying your husband. :)
ReplyDeleteKate - Yeah. I guess it was a little flattering. And yes he is single.
ReplyDeleteMom - That's the way I see it too. I learned a lot of things from being with him.
Sling - I may just say no the next time a former boyfriend looks me up. Of course the next ones WILL be the grade school variety and the first obstacle will be remembering their names.
Booda - Glad to oblige on the color request. If there's one person I will take color advice from, it's you.
MHP - It is too much sometimes I think. I actually saw somebody do a FB status update about her upcoming tubal ligation. TMI!
I'm not a huge FB user. Most people...ex's included for sure....didn't like me much in the past and I really don't want to connect with anyone from way back when either. but, I do enjoy reading my families one liners and I can get pissy with my grandson. I think you handled the request gracefully. Jay Leno made a comment on the Oprah interview...something like: When I see another attractive woman I might think....I'd like that....but then when I get home I know I have paradise in my wife and I am happy.
ReplyDeleteRosemary - I'm more of a FB observer. I hardly ever leave status updates. I always wonder.. Do people really care about the minutiae of my life that much?
ReplyDeleteRemember the old " a bird in the hand is better than a bird in the bush"!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMC - My bird is worth five of those birds in the bush.
ReplyDelete