- Ignoring problems does not make them go away. This is also true for toothaches.
- Water, ice and skin do not mix.
- Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had. (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)
- You can't please everybody. Hell, you can't even please most people.
- Keep both eyes open when shaving your legs. You need the depth perception.
- Dogs don't live nearly as long as they should. They should live as long as we do so that we won't have to say goodbye.
- Your advice is usally not wanted, even when it's asked for.
- Never talk bad about somebody's ex. They usually end up with them again and it makes your "I always thought he was a dickhead." comment hard to explain away.
- Humility is the key to learning.
Things I Will Never Learn Even Though I Should Have By Now
- How to bake biscuits without burning them.
- How to not wait until the last minute to get things done.
- Cleaning as you go makes housework easier.
- Don't ask questions you don't want truthfully answered.
- Opening letters with your fingers instead of a letter opener leads to paper cuts.
- Buying perishables in bulk is not a good idea.
- Nobody cares that I won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974. I have the engraved dictionary to prove it.... but.... you don't really care, do you? Sigh.
Yep. You really summed this up well. I think I have done all of them too - except the spelling bee. I am still learning.
ReplyDeleteThat was YOU that won the Adams Junior High Spelling Bee back in '74??..That dictionary should have been MINE!..But I don't care (sniff).
ReplyDeleteRae - I guess they say learning by experience is the best way for a reason. Not sure anybody could have taught me these lessons as convincingly just by telling me.
ReplyDeleteSling - Now that I think about it, since I won the spelling bee, wouldn't the dictionary be more useful to the losers. I'd be glad to send it your way. Was that YOU who blew the title on antidestablishmentarianism?
I care, I care! You spelling bee champions are soooo cool.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to even start listing all the stuff I've learned the hard way. I think I didn't learn ANYTHING easy. That's not fair, is it?
Booda - Learning the hard way is the best way. The lessons are pounded into your head.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree with some of boerner's comment....I totally agree with all that you said....specially about dogs and biscuits. I miss Penelope every day.
ReplyDeleteRosemary - I'm not even dignifying Boerner's comment with a response. And what IS up with biscuits. They go from doughy globs to black bottomed in a matter of 15 seconds.
ReplyDeleteHey, I totally care that you won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974! :)
ReplyDeleteNow, do you care that I won our school's spelling bee every year from 5th through 8th grade? Come on, say that you care--we can at least brag to each other! *hee hee*
MHP - I knew I liked you for a reason. Us Middle School Spelling Bee winners have to stick together. If for no other reason than to pay the proper respect to a fellow champion.
ReplyDeleteHow do blind people shave their legs? Or their faces?
ReplyDeleteJP - lots of patience, practice and bandaids I imagine.
ReplyDelete'Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had. (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)'
ReplyDeletethats what its all about