Nov 7, 2008

Quitcher Bitchin!

I am traveling to Ohio this weekend. My husband, daughter and I will be going to a “Cousin’s Reunion” for my husband’s side of the family. I am trying so very hard not to whine about it.

These are cousins that he spent quite a bit of time with as a kid. I didn’t meet any of them until after we had been married for over 20 years. That was at the first reunion 2 years ago. I enjoyed the reunion and it was nice to meet everybody. But I am at a heart a hermit. The prospect of a long drive and a whole day of lots of people that I am not so familiar with is not a pleasant one for me.

I like small groups of people. It takes me awhile to get to know people. Most of my favorite things involve me being inside my own head. I read quite a bit, I play video games, I scrapbook. I am just not a social butterfly. I am more like a cocoon.

This has provided a good balance to my husband. I have walked up on him in public places convinced that is talking to a long-lost dear friend only to find out that he only met the person 10 minutes earlier. I envy this ability he has, but console myself with the fact that if we were all the same life wouldn’t be so interesting. I get to tag along for the ride.

I have decided that I am being selfish.

Very early in our marriage my husband’s family scattered across the country. My family all lived within three blocks of each other for 14 years. As a result, we are incredibly close to my family and spend quite a bit of time with them. Holidays have always been spent with my family. We have traveled numerous times to Florida so that I could spend time with some cousins that I am very close to. Every five years we attend a huge week long family reunion with my extended family. Don’t get me wrong. My husband loves my family and enjoys spending time with them but his family has not had equal billing.

My husband lost both his parents within the last two years. He needs to feel that connection that family gives us. He needs to laugh and share stories and be with people who come from the same place he did. I need to stop being so selfish. I don't have to enjoy it but the least I can do for him is shut my mouth and pretend like I do.


  1. Here is my advice;
    People will be looking for reasons to like you.
    You are kinfolk,after all.
    Share an anecdote,a harmless confidence if you will,with the family member you feel most comfortable with..Something you find endearing about hubby perhaps.
    You may not have to 'pretend' to be enjoying yourself afterwards...
    I admire your sense of fair play,in any case.

  2. Sling - Thanks for the advice I'll give it a try.

  3. celebrate your hermithood. if not, big pharma has some excellent products to make you think you're on a beach in rio while some cousin drones on.

  4. Billy... also very good advice. So long as the beach in Rio is a realtivley deserted.