Jan 31, 2010

Trial by Error

Things I've Learned the Hard Way
  •  Ignoring problems does not make them go away.  This is also true for toothaches.
  • Water, ice and skin do not mix.
  • Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had.  (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)
  • You can't please everybody.  Hell, you can't even please most people.
  • Keep both eyes open when shaving your legs.  You need the depth perception.
  • Dogs don't live nearly as long as they should.  They should live as long as we do so that we won't have to say goodbye.
  • Your advice is usally not wanted, even when it's asked for.
  • Never talk bad about somebody's ex.  They usually end up with them again and it makes your "I always thought he was a dickhead." comment hard to explain away.
  • Humility is the key to learning.

Things I Will Never Learn Even Though I Should Have By Now
  • How to bake biscuits without burning them.
  • How to not wait until the last minute to get things done.
  • Cleaning as you go makes housework easier.
  • Don't ask questions you don't want truthfully answered.
  • Opening letters with your fingers instead of a letter opener leads to paper cuts.
  • Buying perishables in bulk is not a good idea.
  • Nobody cares that I won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974.  I have the engraved dictionary to prove it....  but.... you don't really care, do you?  Sigh.


  1. Yep. You really summed this up well. I think I have done all of them too - except the spelling bee. I am still learning.

  2. That was YOU that won the Adams Junior High Spelling Bee back in '74??..That dictionary should have been MINE!..But I don't care (sniff).

  3. Rae - I guess they say learning by experience is the best way for a reason. Not sure anybody could have taught me these lessons as convincingly just by telling me.

    Sling - Now that I think about it, since I won the spelling bee, wouldn't the dictionary be more useful to the losers. I'd be glad to send it your way. Was that YOU who blew the title on antidestablishmentarianism?

  4. I care, I care! You spelling bee champions are soooo cool.

    I wouldn't want to even start listing all the stuff I've learned the hard way. I think I didn't learn ANYTHING easy. That's not fair, is it?

  5. Booda - Learning the hard way is the best way. The lessons are pounded into your head.

  6. While I do agree with some of boerner's comment....I totally agree with all that you said....specially about dogs and biscuits. I miss Penelope every day.

  7. Rosemary - I'm not even dignifying Boerner's comment with a response. And what IS up with biscuits. They go from doughy globs to black bottomed in a matter of 15 seconds.

  8. Hey, I totally care that you won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974! :)

    Now, do you care that I won our school's spelling bee every year from 5th through 8th grade? Come on, say that you care--we can at least brag to each other! *hee hee*

  9. MHP - I knew I liked you for a reason. Us Middle School Spelling Bee winners have to stick together. If for no other reason than to pay the proper respect to a fellow champion.

  10. How do blind people shave their legs? Or their faces?

  11. JP - lots of patience, practice and bandaids I imagine.

  12. 'Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had. (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)'
    thats what its all about