Jan 31, 2010

Trial by Error

Things I've Learned the Hard Way
  •  Ignoring problems does not make them go away.  This is also true for toothaches.
  • Water, ice and skin do not mix.
  • Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had.  (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)
  • You can't please everybody.  Hell, you can't even please most people.
  • Keep both eyes open when shaving your legs.  You need the depth perception.
  • Dogs don't live nearly as long as they should.  They should live as long as we do so that we won't have to say goodbye.
  • Your advice is usally not wanted, even when it's asked for.
  • Never talk bad about somebody's ex.  They usually end up with them again and it makes your "I always thought he was a dickhead." comment hard to explain away.
  • Humility is the key to learning.

Things I Will Never Learn Even Though I Should Have By Now
  • How to bake biscuits without burning them.
  • How to not wait until the last minute to get things done.
  • Cleaning as you go makes housework easier.
  • Don't ask questions you don't want truthfully answered.
  • Opening letters with your fingers instead of a letter opener leads to paper cuts.
  • Buying perishables in bulk is not a good idea.
  • Nobody cares that I won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974.  I have the engraved dictionary to prove it....  but.... you don't really care, do you?  Sigh.


12 comments:

  1. Yep. You really summed this up well. I think I have done all of them too - except the spelling bee. I am still learning.

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  2. That was YOU that won the Adams Junior High Spelling Bee back in '74??..That dictionary should have been MINE!..But I don't care (sniff).

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  3. Rae - I guess they say learning by experience is the best way for a reason. Not sure anybody could have taught me these lessons as convincingly just by telling me.

    Sling - Now that I think about it, since I won the spelling bee, wouldn't the dictionary be more useful to the losers. I'd be glad to send it your way. Was that YOU who blew the title on antidestablishmentarianism?

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  4. I care, I care! You spelling bee champions are soooo cool.

    I wouldn't want to even start listing all the stuff I've learned the hard way. I think I didn't learn ANYTHING easy. That's not fair, is it?

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  5. Booda - Learning the hard way is the best way. The lessons are pounded into your head.

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  6. While I do agree with some of boerner's comment....I totally agree with all that you said....specially about dogs and biscuits. I miss Penelope every day.

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  7. Rosemary - I'm not even dignifying Boerner's comment with a response. And what IS up with biscuits. They go from doughy globs to black bottomed in a matter of 15 seconds.

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  8. Hey, I totally care that you won the Adams Jr. High School Spelling Bee back in 1974! :)

    Now, do you care that I won our school's spelling bee every year from 5th through 8th grade? Come on, say that you care--we can at least brag to each other! *hee hee*

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  9. MHP - I knew I liked you for a reason. Us Middle School Spelling Bee winners have to stick together. If for no other reason than to pay the proper respect to a fellow champion.

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  10. How do blind people shave their legs? Or their faces?

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  11. JP - lots of patience, practice and bandaids I imagine.

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  12. 'Make sure the phone is hung up before you make a smartass comment about the conversation you just had. (Don't even pretend you don't talk bad about other people.)'
    thats what its all about

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