Jan 3, 2009

It's all a matter of perspective.

I own one cat and two dogs. I don't like cats nearly as much as I used to. Our cat is named Tinkerbell. Yeah, yeah, I know... Tinkerbell is a lame name for a cat but in my defense my daughter named her. She was six years old at the time and had a fascination with all things Disney. Tinkerbell is now 16 and much more trouble than she is worth in my opinion. Just kidding........, well, not really.

My daughter will be taking her with her when she moves out on her own (timetable still fuzzy). We will not be getting another cat. Unless of course I am seduced by some adorable little kitten and completely forget that they grow into cats. Kind of like how you forget the pain of childbirth.

Below are two diary entries I ran across. They illustrate perfectly why it takes a special person to love a cat.

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...


  1. AHAHAHA!..Those are EXACTLY what cat and dog diaries would read like!
    I like dogs better too,but cats have that 'screw you' kind of attitude I find appealing in a furball.

  2. You will never convince me that dogs are smarter than cats. Cats get basically the same deal as dogs, free food and shelter, without any expectations from us whatsoever. "Fetch it your own damn self!"

  3. You always know what a dog is thinking or planning because they can't comtain themselves...you have got to love the difference...I had read that dog cat diary a while back its too true.

  4. MC - Dogs are the most pure hearted creatures on God's green earth. I think cats appeal to our independent natures. Definitiely a place for both of them in our hearts.