At least I got a blog post out of it.

Hello, ATT Customer Service, my name is Brian. How can I help you?

(Based on your accent, I don't think your name is Brian but OK. I understand it's meant to make the xenophobic American feel more comfortable with your advice so we can go with Brian.) My mother can't remember the password for her email or the answers to her security questions so we are now locked out of her email account.

First, let me say I'm sorry you're having trouble but I can help you with that.

(Sure you can <---- this is in my most sarcastic mental voice.)

{Identity verification activity commences.}

Now can you open up a browser.

OK

Now enter att.net in the address box.

OK

I mean enter att.yahoo.net.

OK, well when I do that it defaults me to att.my.yahoo.net

OK that's fine. Now do you see a log in box?

No, but I see an envelope icon to open her mail. (Do I need to explain to you that this means the computer is automatically logging into her internet account?)

Hmmm, OK click on the email icon.

OK, I get a prompt for her email password which is the problem I'm calling about. (I'm sensing impatience on Brian's part.)

Hmmm, do you mind if I gain remote control of the computer.

Not at all, be my guest.

{Remote accessing of computer commences}

OK, now I have control of your computer so I will attempt to fix the problem remotely.

OK, I'll just sit back and watch, you let me know if you need anything from me.

{Brian opens att.my.yahoo.net} Well that's why you don't get a log in box, you're automatically logging in.

(Really? Apparently I did need to explain to you that the computer was automatically logging into the account.)

Let me try opening email. Can you please input your password for me?

Well, if you remember, we can't remember the password. That's why we're calling you.

I know, just put any password in.

{I input bingo99 because it's as likely to be correct as any other password I use since we are LOCKED OUT OF THE ACCOUNT.} OK done.

Well that's not the correct one. {Brian wrests control of my mother's computer back from me and clicks the forgot password option and a screen explaining that we are locked out of our account opens up.} I'm sorry but I can't help you with this because you are locked out of your account. I will need to refer you to the account verification team.