We will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in less than a month. We are planning a little trip to DC to tour museums and monuments to our hearts' content. Then we will walk around some local neighborhoods and try to find some hole in the wall place to have a beer (or two) and some good food. Heaven, for both of us. Though many of our day to day pursuits are on opposite ends of the spectrum, there are some things we agree on and enjoy together. Museum lurking is one of them. Personal mission while in DC is to get a library card from the Library of Congress.
How did we make it 25 years? It was touch and go a few times but the bottom line is neither one of us is a quitter and neither one of us came into this with silly notions that happily married means every single moment of the day. You have to be willing to take some bad along with the good. If you want to cut and run at the first sign of trouble then marriage is not for you. Here is my humble advice on what it takes to make a lasting marriage.
* Let little things go.
* Be willing to give up on big things once in a while too.
* There will be a laundry list of things that he does that will drive you crazy. Get over it. You won't change them.
* Accept that your relationship will change over time and be willing to discover what that change means.
* Admit when you were wrong.
* Never start a sentence with "You always.....".
* Don't expect the other person to be responsible for your feelings, happiness and self-esteem. That's your job.
* Little things you do for the other one "just because" go a long way.
I don't always take my own advice. Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment I want to win the argument at all costs. It's ironic that the person you care about most in the world is also the same person who can make you the angriest. But, eventually I come to my senses, calm down and let it go. I hope the next twenty five years is as wonderful and exciting as the last. I do wish it would slow down a little though.
Happy Silver Anniversary Thinker!
ReplyDeleteYou have listed some fine suggestions for a successful marriage.
I'm especially fond of ' Never start a sentence with "You always....."..
Conversely,I would add that you avoid starting a sentence with,'You NEVER!'..
Happy Anniversary! *smiles*
ReplyDeleteHaving been happily married for 12 years so far, I agree with your advice--particularly about your partner's annoying habits. I know I will never stop my hubby from balling up his socks and throwing them across the room--unfortunately. :)
I hope your next 25 years is just as happy! :)
Sling - I forgot that one. A very important one too. If you say "you never" then you take away the other's ability to do the very thing you want without it seeming like they had to do it.
ReplyDeleteMiss HP - My husband pours himself a glass of red wine every night. He is incapable of doing it without spilling some of it on the counter and then doesn't wipe it up. -shrug- What can you do?
We got 35 years before Don was killed...what you say is all tue...
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