Apr 9, 2009
Now celebrating a quarter of a century of wedded bliss
We will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in less than a month. We are planning a little trip to DC to tour museums and monuments to our hearts' content. Then we will walk around some local neighborhoods and try to find some hole in the wall place to have a beer (or two) and some good food. Heaven, for both of us. Though many of our day to day pursuits are on opposite ends of the spectrum, there are some things we agree on and enjoy together. Museum lurking is one of them. Personal mission while in DC is to get a library card from the Library of Congress.
How did we make it 25 years? It was touch and go a few times but the bottom line is neither one of us is a quitter and neither one of us came into this with silly notions that happily married means every single moment of the day. You have to be willing to take some bad along with the good. If you want to cut and run at the first sign of trouble then marriage is not for you. Here is my humble advice on what it takes to make a lasting marriage.
* Let little things go.
* Be willing to give up on big things once in a while too.
* There will be a laundry list of things that he does that will drive you crazy. Get over it. You won't change them.
* Accept that your relationship will change over time and be willing to discover what that change means.
* Admit when you were wrong.
* Never start a sentence with "You always.....".
* Don't expect the other person to be responsible for your feelings, happiness and self-esteem. That's your job.
* Little things you do for the other one "just because" go a long way.
I don't always take my own advice. Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment I want to win the argument at all costs. It's ironic that the person you care about most in the world is also the same person who can make you the angriest. But, eventually I come to my senses, calm down and let it go. I hope the next twenty five years is as wonderful and exciting as the last. I do wish it would slow down a little though.