The heart is more than a muscle.

I'm mostly in a big blue funk right now. No answers yet about Mom's surgery despite the fact that she has been in the hospital for a week waiting to find out ..... WHAT THE FU** YOU PEOPLE INTEND TO DO IN ORDER TO FIX HER. Seems as if they think the valve replacement is too risky so they want to try some new non-invasive method to fix her mitral valve. Non-invasive? How exactly do you fix the heart in a non-invasive way? A heating pad? Everything is on hold while we all wait for some specialist to return from a seminar to explain it all and determine whether my mother is a good candidate for this procedure. This procedure is supposed to be all cutting edge. Doesn't this specialist know that my Mom and the rest of us are waiting anxiously to find out what the hell is going on.

Every day the doctors breeze in and out with some tidbit of news and information. None of it adds up to a plan though. I've been exposed to hospitals and medical people my entire life because of my mom's health. I have seen many doctors who walk around acting like they're miracle workers, and admittedly they often are. The down side of this God complex is that when they don't have the answer they get uncomfortable. I can accept uncertainty but I can't accept this non-communication. Is this specialist truly the only person who can explain this procedure to us. Why must I be forced to search the internet for information? Isn't that part of your job?

Oh, by the way, thanks for convincing my mother that if you end up doing the surgery it means a death sentence.... way to go. She is making small speeches to us about how she has no regrets and she's happy she had two good daughters. She even has Dad saying things about not wanting to lose her. I don't want to lose her either and frankly, I'm a little bit scared.